Tuesday, May 27, 2014

MaGM#2: Meet Author Melissa Keir

For the record, we're pretending today is Monday. You know how when there's a holiday, they always pick up your garbage the day after? This is kind of like that. So, anyway, welcome to Meet and Greet Monday, where we pull an author or reader of romance out from out of that book they're buried in, drag them in front of everyone and introduce them! 

Please wave hello to today's featured guest, author Melissa Keir:


First, I'll ask Melissa a series of random questions, just because I'm nosy. 

Melissa, how many pairs of shoes do you have? I have two pair of boots, one for winter and one cute pair. I have one pair of tennis shoes which need to be replaced and four other pairs of shoes. This amount is much less than my husband who seems to have inherited the gene for needing many shoes!

Yay, a kindred spirit! Lets just say, this is not my shoe closet. Ahem, Kim Kardashian. 

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If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? I would want to have telekinesis. However, I realized it last night that I would make a bad superhero, since I’m jealous and temperamental. Poor people might get hurt when I get upset! :)

I'm thinking Hulk here. RRR... Melissa... ANGRY. It's cool, though. You'd look nice in green!

What did you dream last night? I dreamed that I had superpowers and misused them. Instead of helping people, I became infuriated when someone hit on my hot husband that I tried to set them on fire. I also wanted to hurt the mean dance instructors who were making the poor little children cry over their lack of talent. The dream reminded me once again of why I’m human.

Note to self: do NOT hit on Melissa's hot husband.

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What would you do if you won the lottery? If I won the lottery, I would get new teeth! Isn't that what everyone does? I would certainly pay off the mortgage and get myself a new car, then help my children pay for college. Now, do you have the winning numbers?

That's totally what I'd do. Put me under, yank 'em all out, and put in titanium choppers that won't get cavities. And every time I buy a lottery ticket, I very nicely ask the person behind the counter to push the winner button, but it must be broken. 

Shut up, Grumpy Cat. Image Credit
Do you have a hidden talent? My hidden talent is that I can roll my tongue and twist my elbow so that it looks funny. I know, it seems like a useless talent, but let me assure you that it grosses out the pre-teen demographic and as a teacher, sometimes it’s good to have a gross-out factor.

It's cool. I can bend all my fingers backward at the second knuckle and cross my eyes like you wouldn't believe. Still freaking out my husband after all these years...

Are you a good liar? Would you believe me if I said yes? Really, I don’t know if I am or aren’t. I know that growing up, I always got caught but I seem to be doing better now with telling fibs like… “No those pants don’t make your butt look big.” 

Probably better to tell a small white lie than get kicked in the head.


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Next, I asked a little about Melissa's professional life. She's an author, you know. Melissa has talents beyond just setting people on fire with her mind.


Pick up the book closest to you. Turn to page 12. What's the first full sentence on the page? The book is The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman…. The line- “It is forgotten that these same body scents are what attracts the man to us.”

Are they talking about the scent of vanilla? I read somewhere that men love women that smell like vanilla sugar cookies. Or maybe I just read men love vanilla sugar cookies, I can't remember.

Who is your favorite author of all time? Do I have to pick only one? This could scar me for life! I love Margaret Atwood, Laurell K. Hamilton, Langston Hughes, and J.D. Robb.

I have the same problem narrowing my favorites down. Yours looks like a good spread, though! Mix them all together and you might get an environmental crusade masked as a dystopian fantasy novel about a raisin-loving zombie who solves crimes using futuristic police procedures. Hmm.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on the sequel to Protecting His Wolfe. In the second book of the Pigg Detective Agency series, Lucas Pigg finds that someone is targeting his buildings but a sexy arson investigator has him burning for more than just solving the mystery.

What book have you released most recently? Protecting His Wolfe.

Can we read a little of it?

She kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes, glad to be free of the fashionable toe-pinchers after a long day. Grabbing the stack of papers, she walked over to the tall filing cabinet. She sniffed and sneezed. “Julie must have worn the whole bottle of Chanel this morning.” Her co-worker’s “more is better” perfume policy made their close quarters trying at times. Juggling the folders in one arm, she pushed the window open for fresh air then sat on the floor to sort the files. Perhaps Mrs. Hildebrand, the old dragon who ran the secretarial pool, would appreciate her efficiency and lay off her for once.

Few, if any, other staff members remained so late in the day. Only the soft hum of the fluorescent lights broke the quiet, and she was able to work quickly without all the interruptions of the business day.

As she finished alphabetizing A-L, harsh voices echoed from outside, startling her.

Who could that be? She crept closer to the window, but found it too high to see the people below. 

Perhaps she shouldn’t have stayed alone at night, no matter how it might benefit her career.

“Do you have the stuff?” The voice sounded familiar. She scrunched her eyes, trying to envision the person behind the sound.

“Yes, I do, but the drugs are hidden until you pay me twice the amount we agreed on.”

She held her breath and crouched behind the file cabinet, afraid to make a sound. Is that Mr. Anderson? Why is my boss talking about drugs?

“That’s not the way to do business. We agreed on a fee. I did the loading and driving. I had all the risk.” The rough voice took on a menacing tone with a rasp that sounded like he—and it was clearly a man— had smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for twenty years.

Love those excerpts that grab you and pull you right in to the action, and yours fits the bill, Melissa! Where can we buy it?
Barnes and Noble

And if we want to stalk, I mean visit you, where can we do that? 
From the bushes at the park? Image Credit
I do love stalkers…um…readers and visitors. Please feel free to drop in and keep up on what’s going on in my crazy world

Thanks for playing, Melissa! And everyone else, be sure to come back next week and meet another talented writer, Sandra Dailey